Milestones

For majority of the time I was sick I slept
On the floor cos I didn't deal well with heat
and the mattress proved too hot for me. Another
reason was tt my moaning and screams from dealing
with the itch often kept my sisters up. So I moved
out to sleep in the hall.
Months after I started to get better I still
slept in the hall. Moving back to the bedroom
was too scary for me. It reminds me of the time
when I was really sick. The nights when I couldn't
sleep. The nights when I so wanted to end the agony.
the nights when I screamed and begged for God to
deliver me from the affliction. I've said I'll
move back into the room a few times before but
it took too much out of me. Stress and fear.
Tonight I decided it was really time i face this
fear and prepared for the change. Lying on my bed,
looking around the room,fear tried to creep up
on me. I almost cried. But I got a grip on myself
and decided tt I'll not run. So here I am. And I
hope here I'll stay. Pray.