i visited my maternal grandma (por por)@ the old folk's
home today. It's been a while since i've seen her.
When mum, sis and i walked into her room, her face
lit up, her mouth an open smile. It was so good to
see her. She's the cutest old lady i know. Really.
Her laughs are chuckles. When i count to take a
picture of her, she'll continue to count to 6, much to
everyone's amusement. And she loves it. She's still
pretty alert. Remembers our names, how we're related.
And that is very precious to me. Cos my paternal
grandma can't remember who we are even though she
lives with us.

I took pictures of por por, a few videos. I wanted to
remember her. I showed her pictures of my cats, of
my sisters. She asked if we all had boyfriends, or any
of us were getting married. That always breaks my
heart. I wished for her to be at my wedding. Really.
I doubt i'd make it in time to have her at my wedding...
and i'm pretty sad about that.

Time came to leave... but i couldn't bear to. All this time
we've been holding hands, por por and i. I couldn't bear
to release her hand from mine. When mum announced we
were leaving, she said, "oh, so fast?" man... i wished
i could stay longer with her. But i had to go to work...
I gave her a hug then left. As i walked out, my eyes
teared a bit. I love her dearly...

After the funerals of my grandads, i know how it happens.
We will be called to their bedsides. They will breathe
their last then there will be tears. The funeral arrangements
made in a room nearby. The people from the casket
company will come and collect the body. Then the wake
takes place. You see your loved one in the box. All waxed
up... Eyes close. Hands clasped. Then all you have are
memories. And the pictures. And if you're lucky, videos.
Then you remember their love.

grandma says

mum: ah mah, would you like soup noodles or dry?

grandma: both

me: *gangsta*

p.grace

a friend's uber cute kid

and He met me

this sunday, i attended church at the other centre in
the west. And the different environment did good for me.
I wasn't distracted by the camera framing, i wasn't
distracted by crew movement. (although i'd admit i did wonder
if they had a fader... cos the shot transitions were choppy :P)

I was able to really soak in the moments. Really worship. Close
my eyes... not worry if someone would need my attention. It was
all His. And tune my ears to Him. And yes, just as He was
always there, He met me. And it brought tears to the eyes.
"Thank You..."

It was good to catch up with old friends too... Pple i
haven't been able to meet since the church became
1 church 2 centres. Really really good to see them again.

ooooh!

H&M is coming to our little island!!! :D
(silently pumps fist in air)

murakami

"She waited for the train to pass. Then she said, "I sometimes think that 
people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. 
All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every 
once in a while."

— Haruki Murakami (Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman)

not focusing very well today... something has been
tugging at my heart strings   o__<

thanks Roger... you're a darling and an auntie killer

found!

be still.

Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

"So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend (x2)

Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend"

---> this song found me in silence... and it made
me realise how long it's been since i've quietened
my heart to hear His whispers... How long it's been
since i've been still, waiting for His words to fill
my heart.

Sundays are now a flurry of activity for me...Taking
note of Standard Operating Procedures for the video
crew. Learning the ropes... Making sure instructions
get passed down to the crew. Taking note of the manpower
we have for that sunday. So even though i'm there in
person, it's hard to listen to the sermon, or worship fully.
Cos soon someone will tap you on the shoulder to ask a
question or favour. Or i'll have to attend to some glitch
or something. I think i must learn to guard my time.
I guess i can steal some time away to worship since there
are 2 church services. Not stand near the control room
when i'm not needed. Something like that.

counting my blessings

you know, watching Renovaid on Channel 5 is quite
a wake-up call to really count my blessings. This 18 yr
old girl gave up her studies and got a job to support
her siblings. Her home is a dilapidated 3 room flat with
only one bed. When asked who amoung the 7 pple in
the house gets to sleep on it, she said, "First come, first
served."

Then i look at my life... i've never been in want. I've got
my own bed. I've got the means to watch a movie and
shop now and then. I've got a job... The place i call home,
although i don't have my own 'space', it's clean and things
function. And it's pretty too :) so hey, what's there to
complain about... what more could i ask for...

A friend shared her testimony in church today. She
said, "....Looking at friends travel whenever and
wherever they wanted, and i couldn't. Buying what they
wanted, and i couldn't. Then God spoke to me through
a verse. That He will supply all my need according to His
riches in glory by Christ Jesus. He is Jehovah Jireh. My
Provider. " (loosely quoted) I was so blessed by her
testimony. Indeed, He is Jehovah Jireh... What an assurance,
what blessedness...

murakami

"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. 
But they're also what tear you apart."

— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)